Neil: Welcome back to the AI at Work podcast. Quick question for you all today. What if the best way to get better at negotiation or improving your negotiation skills this year is to practice with an AI coach before you even walk into the room? Well, negotiation is one of those skills that we all use in our day to day lives. And even when we don't label it that way, it shows up in our salary conversations, scope changes, vendor renewals, internal disagreements, and those tense moments. These are the exact moments where trust can often feel fragile. So the challenge is that most people learn negotiation in the real world under pressure, with very real consequences and very little room to experiment. But in this episode of AI at Work, you're going to hear from Professor Alexandra Meslin, and she's from the American University's Kogod School of Business. And her work sits right at the crossroads of trust, emotions, identity and conflict. And she's been teaching her students how to use AI tools to prepare for and practice negotiations, whether they be big deal moments or everyday interactions. And her approach has been a big hit in the media. She was recently featured in Fortune, and I will add a link to that article in the show notes, because it's a really interesting read. But today we're going to talk about what AI can actually do well in negotiation prep, how it can help you ask better, question how it might be able to help you ask better questions. And most importantly of all, what the human side still matters and will always matter when the conversation gets tense. But if you've ever wished you could run a difficult conversation a few different ways before you have it for real, rather than the traditional way of walking away thinking, oh, why didn't I say this? Why didn't I say that we could do things differently? You're going to love this one. So enough scene setting from me. Let me introduce you to my guest right now. Thank you for joining me on the podcast today. Can you tell everyone listening a little about who you are and what you do?

Alexandra Mislin: Thank you so much for having me, Neil. I'm a professor of management at an American University in the School of Business. I research and study trust and negotiation processes and how perceptions shape real outcomes. And I also teach negotiation classes at American University that integrate AI tools as practice partners and preparation skills.

Neil: Wow. It's an incredibly cool topic there. You must really enjoy your work because AI is a big talking point, but not in this context. I mean, you're teaching students at Kogod to use AI as part of their negotiation toolkit. So I've got to ask, what prompted you to bring AI directly into the classroom for something as human and nuanced as negotiation? It sounds incredibly cool, but I feel there's got to be a story behind it, too.

Alexandra Mislin: Yes. So I have been teaching negotiation and, and, and I've been playing with the AI tools since they started becoming more popular in the last several years. And, you know, I think like many of us, I've been horrified and excited at the same time, sort of holding all those emotions at the same time as I dabble in and back up and dabble in and back up and but in the process and through all the playing, I've started noticing also just how incredibly helpful it can be. These tools can be for helping to navigate a complex human interactions, but in the classroom, I really do definitely first focus on teaching the core skills. So I would say during even the first half of the semester, it's not very AI heavy at all. It's very much about building the core skills and and working together and then but then during the second half, I really felt the need to bring a lot of this in, because of course, a lot of businesses are starting to use these tools and students need to understand how to use them to help them do this better, negotiate better, and also how to negotiate against or with AI tools if they're facing them as part of their experiences.

Neil: I love your approach here, because I think there is a fear that too much usage of AI or AI, without those core skills, it can end up replacing critical thinking, and you rely on it too heavily. So it's so important, isn't it, to have those core skills in place first and then use AI to complement it, rather than just learning from a AI right from the outset?

Alexandra Mislin: I completely agree. It's just so tempting because it feels sometimes like you just already know everything when it tells you, you know? But it's so much of learning and and so we do have a lot of hands on practice and sort of because things always feel like they make a lot of sense when we read them so neatly in the abstract. But when humans get together, things get more complicated.

Neil: They really do. And I mean negotiation there. It often hinges on trust, emotion, and identity. So how can I support better preparation and better decision making without dulling that human judgment? And that makes conversation so effective?

Alexandra Mislin: I think it's it's at the core, it's it's one of the most important things is to understand what you want. And that takes work. And I think the tools can help as a coach to help people gain some clarity around what they want. And so, you know, it's a useful tool for structuring goals and and helping you to sort of question those. It can help to generate some options, help to test assumptions, help even to sort of map out concession making. But ultimately it's a thinking partner, not like a decision maker.

Neil: Yeah, one hundred percent with you. And to bring to life what we're talking about here. When you're working with students on high stakes simulations, for example, how are they using AI to clarify goals, surface blind spots, or or test different strategies before entering a live negotiation? And I'd love to hear more about what they're doing and how they're using it.

Alexandra Mislin: Absolutely. So again, moving into that second half of the semester, once they have some of these really core skills down and developing, I you know, the tools are very, very helpful. So first of all, they can really help them to clarify their priorities by engaging and trying to identify and map out preferences and help them to consider the order of importance. I think the tools can be incredibly helpful for helping people take a perspective. So I often say for negotiations, think. Know what you want. Be curious. Understand and listen for their needs. So think, be curious and then ask. And so the think piece is really clarifying what you want and the tools help with that. Then the be curious is and to really understand. You can't change someone's mind unless you understand where their mind is. And I think the tools can help a little bit as they're preparing for that, to take the perspective of the other side, because it really draws on a lot of different, broader information outside of the information that people are bringing to these interactions. And so, you know, they can role play. They can role play as the other party so they can have the AI role play the other party, but they can also then switch roles. And that experience of being in the other side, sort of essentially practicing negotiating against yourself can also really help them to truly get a little bit farther when they're trying to take the perspective of the other side and try to uncover a lot likely objections, or what might be some other interests. The tools can also help them practice negotiating against different styles. People have very different approaches to conflict and managing negotiations. And so that can explicitly be brought into the practice where a student can sort of feed in and convey, this is my these are my styles, this is my these are my tendencies. They have tools that help them to identify that. And then they can practice. Or they might again, with their basic understanding at this point get a sense for where are my strengths going to be in this kind of interaction, where might be my weaknesses given these approaches, these styles, or maybe practice negotiating against different styles and the tools can help them to identify weak, weak spots in terms of their plans or ideas, or it's just incredibly helpful in a lot of these different ways.

Neil: And anyone that has dipped their toes in any AI tools, they will tell you that there is a risk that AI could encourage formulaic, generic responses or overconfidence due to its people pleasing kind of approach sometimes. So how do you teach students to most importantly, question AI outputs and use them as prompts for deeper thinking rather than scripts. Because I think there's almost a flaw in the human psyche that when we see something written down in front of us, it becomes fact and we don't want to question it. But of course, that critical thinking that that need to question what you see is so important too, isn't it?

Alexandra Mislin: Absolutely. You know, but I think, you know, human interaction is very complex. And yeah, I have kids and they've been really interested in the last couple of months to learn more about chess. So we've been playing a lot of chess with my daughter and my son and, and it made me think about, you know, ultimately, even in chess, like after the first three moves, you have over one hundred million different board positions that could come up. So it's not possible to map out and memorize all that. So when you're learning, just like when you're learning negotiations, you can really just get some tools to help you understand how you might navigate that interaction. But when it comes to the actual conversation, there are so many possible variations. It just I don't worry so much that that would become overly formulaic in that way. Another part is the overconfidence that you just mentioned. And I also kind of think in some ways I'm not so worried about that either, because I think ambiguity about negotiation can deter a lot of professionals from negotiating. And I think that AI might help to reduce some of that ambiguity. That's and can be associated with anxiety and sort of that prevents people from engaging in their everyday negotiations. So my hope around that is that the access to more information that comes from these tools will help people feel more comfortable engaging in negotiations when they should, in everyday negotiation, sort of everyday interactions, advocating for their interests or needs or understanding better. And that can help them feel more appreciated and recognized and respected. And so would the people that they engage with. So I see those two pieces in terms of formulaic and over. And I think you mentioned overconfidence concerns. I'm not so worried about that. But obviously, yes, I do definitely think and and teach my students the importance of checking, checking, checking back and and really treating the tool more as, as sort of an assistant that's given some preliminary ideas that they need to test out.

Neil: And your research highlights how trust is built, how it can be violated and indeed repaired. So can AI play a role in rebuilding trust after a breakdown, or is that still firmly a human responsibility, or is it a mixture of the two?

Alexandra Mislin: That's a great question. I think it's really fun to think about that. You know, I mean, obviously trust repair we know depends on emotional recognition, accountability also sincerity or perceived sincerity. I think it's really interesting that, you know, I think the tools can help people diagnose what might have gone wrong, maybe ask better questions to understand. And I think that, you know, it could also help to map out steps that people can take to repair a transgression, maybe even help to draft a language around an apology. But sincerity is a crucial piece to making these efforts work. And so I think that AI might be able to help people navigate a trust breach. But real human contact, I think, is going to be a crucial piece to ensure that that sincerity is there and that it's believable, right? So I think that human contact might carry a growing premium in business and negotiation contexts, because time spent together in person, in direct conversations and consistent follow through, and these are the kinds of actions that will help to convey a true, sincere interest in building and maintaining a relationship.

Neil: Hundred percent with you. And I think outside of the classroom, if we were to take a look inside any meeting room in corporate America, we will see many professionals struggling with ambiguity and tension in any negotiations. So how do you think AI might be able to help people ask sharper questions and reframe difficult conversations when when stakes are high in the workplace, too?

Alexandra Mislin: Yeah, I mean, I think, you know, a lot of that has often to do with clarifying what you want. And so I do think AI can help people gain clarity around what it is that they really want out of this interaction or this conversation, just to take a moment to think through these ideas. People can practice difficult conversations with AI again. They can, you know, engage, simulate the conversation and again, take the other side. And the more that we can understand the perspectives of others, you know, the better we can bridge some of these tensions. So I think, you know, they can help to identify your assumptions and to help you to identify where your assumptions are falling short, so that you can really get past the difficulty in those conversations, slow things down a little bit, and help to understand things from the other perspective.

Neil: And I suspect there'll be a few seasoned executives listening in to our conversation today who have successfully negotiated for decades. But so for those people, I think every day is still a school day. So what practical steps would you recommend that if if those people listening wanted to integrate AI into their preparation without disrupting their personal style? Any tips or advice there?

Alexandra Mislin: Absolutely, yeah. So I spend a lot of time thinking about talking about these everyday negotiations that are maybe more minor interactions, but for people who are really managing, not minor, but like not what we often think of as large, multi sequence, long lasting business negotiations. So for high stakes negotiations for season negotiators, I think one thing that absolutely they can do is and to treat the tools as, as analysts that help them to prepare. So obviously they they want to keep their style that's working well for them. They might start by giving a clear one page, sort of my way of negotiating. Note to the AI to help convey the tone, the opening, the way that they tend to approach negotiations and feed that to the tool. Um, and then use the tool to help them to clarify their objective functions. So ask AI to restate their goals sort of as a ranked list, maybe, and also flag any potential hidden trade offs to help to start thinking about where might there be some opportunities to create value in this interaction? Uh, they can use the tool in the preps to help to stress test any kind of assumptions, ask for strong counterarguments or things that they might be missing in terms of the perspective that the other side would take. Use it to help them to expand their option set, and even maybe identify things that might matter little to them that they could potentially trade off in the negotiation. They could sort of have even like a prompt, a cheat sheet that they use to run by what they're using and then ask, have it ask specific questions like, where might I be surprised? What might I be missing? What might my counterpart be inferring from my first offer? Or what might they be doing? And yeah, they can use it to rehearse. I mean, I definitely know executives who do this who, who, who have, you know, the voice enabled and practice and, and also sometimes switch roles depending on the, on the, on the setting, you know, you can just have you can tell it be really tough or this is the style of the person that I'm dealing with. Like this is the approach. This is the way they tend to interact. I want you to act this way. And you can just sort of start noticing as you're practicing. Where are you getting reactive? Where are you maybe making concessions where you might not? Or where do you see an opportunity for some kind of a way to bridge the conversation back over to your priorities. So these are all ways to help to prepare. And then I think the tools depending on the context could be helpful during a negotiation. Obviously these negotiations can last a long time. So checking in as a coach and then also at the end of a negotiation as a debrief passing, depending on how much information you have, you can pass on notes or you know, if it's recorded or you have to think about obviously the privacy issues, but you know, whatever information you have, you can pass back. And AI can help to flag places where there are opportunities for improvement, help to diagnose what worked well and what didn't. And it's I mean, it really, I think is incredible the ways that it can be used. And these are some examples.

Neil: And you come across as someone incredibly passionate about your work and forward thinking and open to new ideas. And I suspect that when you're out there doing your own research, whether it be on LinkedIn or education journals, etc., you're going to come across a certain number of myths or misconceptions around AI or AI and education. I'm curious. One of the things I was trying to do, my guest is ask them to lay to rest some of those frustrations that they keep reading online and stuff. Are there any myths or misconceptions you'd like to lay to rest that you see again and again?

Alexandra Mislin: Oh, that's a great question. I mean, I guess I guess when people don't use the tool for interpersonal, you know, for something around understanding human nature or humans, they might be surprised to see how incredibly effective it can be. So even to just play with a tool like this to, you know, just put in something like a recent, you know, interaction you had with your neighbor or friend or some kind of and see how it responds or any insights or, you know, even a sort of a small, you know, trust breach or something and, and asking, you know, to help me understand what might I be missing, how might they be seeing it, you know, and I think I guess like, it sounds so AI sounds so technical. So for people who are less inclined to play with it or use it in that way. Maybe there, you know, it's worth exploring to see. I think it's quite nuanced and interesting.

Neil: Yeah, I completely agree. And something I always say to people is if you feel that certain elements of technology are confusing, overwhelming, it's not for you. You've got a certain opinion on it is just have a quick look, sit down, have a play with it. They're incredibly easy to use. It's as simple as just typing a few words and a bit of back and forth. You don't need to be particularly techie to to have a play with AI. And for everybody else listening, if we were to look further ahead, how do you see AI further reshaping negotiation, education and even workplace conflict management over the next few years? And also, what skills do you think will remain uniquely human, no matter how advanced tools become? Because it isn't substituting one for the other. Both need to be side by side. But what do you see as being remaining uniquely human too?

Alexandra Mislin: So I think, you know, there are three shifts that are coming pretty quickly. I think organizations will and already are, automating simple negotiations, especially routine high volume exchanges. I think negotiation education is going to move from maybe more of an occasional training to a continuous support, where AI can function as more like an on demand prep analyst, debrief coach, sort of ongoing relationship coach where people can test their strategies, maybe role play difficult conversations, and then learn quickly about what happened and get good feedback. You know, I think an AI coach can really help to guide people who want to get better at connecting with others and still, you know, they still have to do the work themselves. They still have to show up and listen and regulate emotions and make the hard calls. But I think the competitive advantage is going to be knowing how to combine the analytical tools with interpersonal intelligence. And actually, this is why this is the premise of a book that I'm working on right now with my co-author, Chris Mattingly. It's called think Before you Ask. So we think that as AI takes on more routine exchanges, the people who benefit most will be those who recognize everyday negotiations and can handle them deliberately. So the book is designed to build that skill because in an AI rich workplace, the real advantages come from knowing when and how to engage with human conversations. So I think that's going to be crucial.

Neil: So when can we expect the book? Is it early days? When are you hoping to get it out there?

Alexandra Mislin: We are. The publication date is with it's with Entrepreneurship Press and it's April twenty twenty seven. So coming along.

Speaker 3: It's coming along.

Alexandra Mislin: You know, it's under review. So but we're excited and we're also building tools that really integrate a lot of the, the things that I talked about to help ensure that people to give people hands on and easy ways to use some of these tools to help them be better at what we think is really going to be crucial, increasingly crucial.

Neil: I think at the very least, we need to get you back on in March twenty twenty seven.

Speaker 3: That would be amazing.

Neil: A lovely conversation about that. And in the meantime, while we're waiting for that to be released, anyone listening wanting to continue the conversation we started today. Anywhere in particular? You'd like me to point everyone listening? If they want to find out more about your research and anything we talked about.

Speaker 3: Yeah. Thank you.

Alexandra Mislin: So my faculty website at American University or just my personal website, Alexandra. Com or my LinkedIn are good places to find more information about the work that I'm doing. And yeah.

Neil: Awesome. I will add links to everything that you mentioned there, and I meant what I said. I'll be connecting with you on LinkedIn. It'd be great to get you back on. We don't need to wait till March next year. Maybe we can get you on before. But more than anything, just thank you for sharing your incredible work. Really appreciate your time today.

Alexandra Mislin:  No, thank you so much. I really enjoyed our conversation.

Neil: If there's one idea I keep coming back to after my conversation today, it's that negotiated agreements are only a small part of the story. And professor McLean's work is a reminder that the outcome you get on paper can still fall apart if trust is missing. If emotions are ignored or identity gets bruised along the way. So this is where AI can be surprisingly useful as a way to rehearse pressure, test some of your assumptions, and surface the questions that you might be avoiding asking. But yeah, of course it brings with it a bigger responsibility because the goal is not just to falsely sound smarter. It's more about showing up better. So whether you are leading a team, building a career, or stepping into a more complex conversation with high stakes with higher stakes, I genuinely hope that today's conversation gives you just a few more practical ways to prepare, with more clarity Unless guesswork. So if you'd like to keep up with Professor Maslin's work, I'll add the links in the show notes. And as always, I'd love to hear from you. Have you started using AI to prepare for some hard conversations or negotiations yet? And what changed when you did? Please head over to Tech Talks Network.com. We got four thousand different conversations there. Many different opportunities to learn and think differently from some of the smartest minds in the world. So you can send me a DM or even record me an audio message over there. Other than that, I'll be back again soon with another guest, and hopefully I will get the privilege of a little more of your time. So I'll speak with you all again very soon. Bye for now.